He is Faithful that Promised!

isang pangungumusta sa aking sarili

2008-02-13T16:17:00.003+08:00

...kumusta na kaya ako... eto sa awa ng Diyos kahit papano nakakasurvive pa din, sa dami ng hirap na pinagdaanan ngayon, maayos pa rin naman kami, nakakakain pa din 2 times a day ng full meal. 2 times kasi di naman kami nag aagahan talaga. minsan may meryendang masarap pa.

napagisip isip ko, kahit pala hirap ako, madami ako dapat ipagpasalamat sa Diyos. sunod sunod na nagkakasakit kami, pero sa awa nya wala namang namamatay o nacoconfine sa ospital. bawas na pinagkakakitaan namin pero sa awa Niya, nakakabili pa rin kami pagkain, may baon at pamasahe pa sa school mga kids, at nakakabayad pa kami ng bills (koryente, tubig, internet connection, at higit sa lahat yung sa bahay), nakakapag paload pa dn ako sa cellphone kaya nakakapag text ako araw araw.

mabait si Lord, salbahe ako... di nya kami pinapabayaan, pabaya na ko sa prayer. Mabuti na lang binigyan nya kami wake up call, nung linggo nakapagsimba kami (first time sa loob halos ng dalawang taon). sabi ko nga kay Lord, sana tuloy tuloy na ito, at laking pasasalamat ko sa kanya, kasi panahon na rin para yung mga kids, makapakinig ng salita ng Diyos. First time ni zdi na umatend ng Sunday school. mabuti naman at may madadagdag na rin syang matutununan, kasi madali syang matuto at sinusunod naman nya yung mga tinuturo sa kanya. mabuti at matutunan na nya ang salita ng Diyos. Minsan umuwi sya, naghugas ng natirang hguasan, sabi nya kasi daw sabi ng teacher dapat tulungan ang mga magulang... mabait na bata, sana hanggang paglaki nya ganun sya, ganun silang lahat na mga anak ko.

ngayon, eto talaga at walang wala kami, pero iba talaga kumilos ang Panginoon, may nagbayad ng dapat naming bayaran na malaki, may kasama pang advance payment. isang malaking pasasalamat kay Lord. ngayon ko naisip, di kaya regalo ng Panginoon ito kasi nagsimba kaming buong pamilya nung linggo?

kahit anglungkot ng buhay ko, kahit pilit ko lang pinapasaya... dapat pala naman talaga ako maging masaya, kasi kahit na wala ako maasahang tunay, si Lord kahit di ko pansinin, di nya pala ako pababayaan.

ang bait ng Panginoon... ang salbahe ko...

My Regrets in Life

2008-01-19T16:06:00.000+08:00

Here i am sitting in front of my laptop since this morning, practically doing nothing... (well not actually doing nothing, since i have cooked meal this lunch and put kro sleep). Anyway back to where i was... Most of my time today was spent in front of this computer, surfing the net and reading some blogs of other people. as i was doing just that i came to realize, that i have so many regrets in my life, i may never admit it personally to other people, but in reality to be true to myself, yes there is, there are... some regrets that when i look back i kind of hope i did a different thing, a different approach to it, just so it would not have end up like this.

Here's one regret to talk about,

my first regret was when i did not finish my schooling, hey it was just a few more months and i could have finished my degree a bachelor of science in computer engineering.

i am, sad to say a 5th year drop-out, i dont know then, but it seems like it was not a big deal that time. looking back now, i know now it was a stupid thing to do. what happened? i got other priorities, i was working as a part time student before i dropped out, was involve in a lot of church activities that it actually ate up all of my time for studies, talk about being dumb and being faithful. i had this reason before kasi, na everything i was doing was for the Lord, so if i gave up something for God, He would be somewhat proud of me kasi i put Him first. Thinking back now, i think if God was really able to literally talk to me face to face which i know will not happen, He would definitely say i did the wrong thing.

this is the first time that i really get to admit my stupid mistake and failure in my life. i have let down some people... myself, my mother, friends, other relatives, well i don't know if my relatives cared or not. i know that believing and serving God doesn't involve having a bachelor's degree diploma, but i know that it's one thing of showing like you have been faithful to finish what you have started... it's like a race that i had joined and when i was almost at the finished line, there i was i didn't looked at the goal, i looked at somewhere else and stopped running the race.

Each one of us have different paths to take, have different goals in life, but the one thing that i have before, i did not finished, i quit when i was almost there. Do you see what i am saying now? and this is the first time that i understood it also. I was a quitter, had been a quitter, it hurts to admit it now but it's the truth and will always remain the truth, unless i do something to change the wrong that i had done before.

i can go back to school now, i am willing yes so very much willing, not because to have that diploma hanging on my wall. or to have that status that "i'm a college graduate" or something to that effect, to brag to others, no not all that. I want to go back to school to because i want to finish what i had started. i want to continue the race again, and at the least remove that one regret in my life.

ganito kasi yun

2008-01-18T10:03:00.000+08:00

eto na naman ako, nangungumusta sa aking sarili, tagalog ulit tayo... di naman ako maka pagbisaya, kasi kakaunti na rin lang ang alam ko doon sa dating kinagisnan kong salita. kung tutuusin wala akong matatawag na native na wika ko. di ko naman masasabi na bihasa ako sa lahat ng wikang ginagamit ko. di bale kung san ako pwedeng maglabas ng gusto ko ilabas yun na lang gagamitin ko. kumbaga etong pahinang eto ng web ang syang magiging paminsang minsang diary ko. para kahit pano mabawas bawasan naman ang bigat na dinadala ko.

so to start...

ganito na lang ba? lahat ng tao alam ko may problema, may kanya kanyang sakit sa dibdib na dinadala, may kanya kanyang nararamdaman na hindi maganda. pero bat sakin di ata mawala-wala ang problema... at kung ulanin ng kamalasan, patong patong pa... ano ba meron ako? sabi nila magpasalamat daw ang taong may problema kasi ibig sabihin pinagkakatiwalaan sila ng Diyos, the more na may problema ka, the more na God trusts you. Trusts you enough that you can handle it and find the solution for it. Pero namaaaaannn... minsan gusto ko sabihin ke Lord, Lord pwede pahingan naman?

Hanggang san ba ang kayang dalhin ng isang tao? Ako hanggang san ang kaya ko?

Ang simpleng mga pangarap ngayon halos di mo na matanaw... minsan nasasabi ko, kunyari na lang maging masaya ako, kasi kung lagi na lang magiging bugnutin, wala rin naman mangyayari.

Kahit magsisigaw ako sa galit, kahit magwala ng todo-todo, kahit maglayas, wala rin namang mapupuntahan ang lahat. Maging masaya na lang, kahit kunwari lang, may mas mabuti pang epekto ito sa sarili ko.

Kaya may mga taong nagpapakamatay... may mga nababaliw... siguro sila di na nila kaya... siguro sila nagpatalo sila sa kakaisip. kahit di naman pwedeng di isipin, kasi laging laman ng isip ang dinadala.

Bat ba ako ang hirap mag-open, kahit na dito, alam ko naman sarili ko lang kausap ko dito di ko pa masabi sabi kung ano ba talaga ang problema ko at kung ano ba ang hirap na dinadala ko. ewan ko ba... ako ata ang taong masyadong private... pero paminsan minsan naman may mga tao din ako pinagkakatiwalaan na sinasabihan ko... o baka naman nadulas lang ako... makwento din kasi akong tao, di nauubusan ng kwento, lalo na pag ang kwento sinusulat. pero wag ka, pag kausap ako, lalo ng mga taong di gaanong malapit sakin, tahimik lang ako, kala mo hindi madaldal...

may mga nakakaintindi kaya sakin? meron bang talagang nakakakilala sakin?

pag gusto ko ng peace, war ang nabibigay... pag gusto ko ng ice cream, cake ang binibili, pag gusto ko tahimik na buhay, ginugulo naman... pag gusto ko ng maginahawang buhay, kahirapan naman... gustuhin ko kaya lahat ng kabaligtaran ng gusto ko, baka makuha ko na yung gusto kong totoo talaga...

ganto na lang ba talaga?

Sana minsan makatagpo ako ng yun bang talagang di ako mahihiya na ilabas lahat ng laman ng isip at damdamin ko (ang bigat noh?) di naman kelangan magkita ng personal, mas maganda nga yung nagcha chat na lang, lahat pwede ko pa sabihin...

pero maganda din yung meron talaga best friend na masasabi, yung closest sa puso kasi yun pwede mo kasama, may tatapik sa balikat ko (kasi tapik lang naman siguro kelangan ko), action speaks louder than voice. sana makakita ako ng kaparehas ko, para magkainrindihan kami ng mabuti at masabi namin kung ano ang dapat sabihin sa isat isa...

minsan kasi ang iba kahit well meaning na yung sinasabi sayo, di mo rin mafeel eh. isip lang ang na touch hindi ang puso o soul.

Siguro nga ang kelangan ko tunay na kebigan... kasi dito wala naman ako matatawag na tunay na kebigan yun bang best friend... marami ako kebigan at close friend, wala naman best friend. best friend na makakasama ko sa lakaran, sa lahat, laughters and tears... simula bata pa ako eto na talaga ang hanap ko, sobrang tagal na, matanda na ko, di ko pa sya nameet... o baka naman nameet ko na, di ko lang napansin. dati meron ako kinonsider best friend, ewan ko ba ano nangyari, naghiwalay kami ng landas, en so on en so port.

sana this year maiba naman ang buhay ko, ang buhay namin, yun bang magkaron naman saya, yung saya na sagad sa buto... yun bang masasabi kong eto talaga, sobrang saya...

Sana...

Dito na lang...

2008-01-11T16:15:00.000+08:00

haaaayyy... buhay... dito na lang sa space na ito ako magmumukmok, magrereklamo, maglalabas ng mga kung anu-anong saloobin meron ako. Tutal naman kakaunti o walang nagbabasa dito, lalong walang magbabasa nitong sinulat ko kasi tagalog ito at ang mangilan ngilang napapasyal dito ay siguradong hindi maiintindihan ito, kasi english speaking sila. mas maganda na rin siguro itong magtagalog ako kahit balu-baluktot at wrong grammar para maiba naman.

Minsan nakakainis ang buhay masasabi mong HAY NAKO NAMANG BUHAY ITO OH!!! HAY NAKOOO... nakakasawa na paulit-ulit na lang yung problemang dinadala, kakasawa ng umintindi, kakasawa ng magpasensya, kakatamad ng minsan na mabuhay, kahit ayaw ko pang mamatay.

Bat kaya ganun, kung sino pa ang nagpupumilit na gumawa ng mabuti, na magsipag, na laging intindihin ang iba, sya pa yung laging nagiging kawawa. Meron nga dyan, mga tao na puro kasamaan lang ang ginagawa sila pa yung namumuhay ng masagana.

Dati simple lang ang mga pangarap ko sa buhay, isang masayang pamilya kahit wala ng maraming bagay, basta masaya... sa mga nakaraang panahon na pagsusuri ko, eto pa ba? ako rin ang sumagot ng hindi na.

Nakakapagod, nakakapagod ang laging nagt-trabaho, nakakapagod ang laging nagmamahal, pero ginagawa ka namang walang kwenta minsan. nakakapagod diba? Aalagaan mo, pagsisilbihan mo, lahat ibibigay mo, kapalit nun panggagago... nakakapagod. Simpleng tao lang naman ako. Kung ano ako sayo, simple lang din ang gusto ko, dapat ganun din ikaw sa akin, kahit sino ka man (parang kanta at pelikula), kaibigan ka man, asawa, kapatid, anak. Nakakapanlumong isipin na ang kabutihang ginagawa mo sa ibang tao, minsan kapalit nito kabaliktaran... NAMAN OH...

Hindi naman ako nagkulang sa dasal... araw-araw, gabi-gabi nagdadasal ako... naririnig pa kaya ako ng Diyos? San pa kaya ako nagkulang? ang mga panalangin ko nananatiling pinapanalangin pa rin hanggang ngayon... bat di pa kaya ako magaling? bat lalo pa kaya dumadami sakit ko? bat di pa kaya gumiginhawa ang buhay ko? bat kaya parang walang nagmamahal sakin? nakakalungkot... minsan naisip ko, wag na lang kaya...

Sana ang buhay ng tao parang soap opera, kapag nanonood ka nito mapapansin mo, ang mga tao mabilis yumaman, mabilis makaganti sa may gawa ng kasalanan, mabilis nagkakaayos ang pami-pamilya... ilang buwan lang natatapos agad ang palabas at happy ending na, sa bida. Sana ang buhay ko parang bida sa soap opera.

Di kaya isa lang akong ampon? baka ang mga magulang ko talaga ay isang mayamang angkan, at ako kinidnap lang ng nag-aalaga sakin at binigay sa kinalakhang mga magulang ko ngayon... sana... o baka naman kaya mayron akong great uncle o great auntie na ako ang nag-iisang tagapagmana... nakakasawa na ang maging mahirap eh.

nakakapagod... nakakainis... nakakakulo ng dugo...

some new (and old) pics

2007-12-07T15:06:00.000+08:00

some news

2007-12-04T16:12:00.000+08:00

havent been on this site for such a long time... well if anybody is interested just want you all to know, that i just had an internet connection installed in my house. so now i can be online for longer period of time. and maybe i can blog here more often

The day I gave birth to my last…

2007-07-15T17:58:00.000+08:00

It was a sunny day, it was supposed to be my admission day, and I was supposed to have my CS two days after that day, but I think he was so excited to see the world and his mommy, that he decided to come out two days earlier than scheduled.

Before going to the hospital, a week before I had already taught my 11 year old (who had just celebrated her birthday) how to do the laundry, cook rice, and instructed her on how to take care of her 5 year old brother. I had also instructed my husband on what to do with the kids and the house while I am gone. Everything was all set for the coming of the baby.

And so, on the 21st of May, we went to the hospital for my admission. When the doctor had an IE on me, she told me that I have to go to the emergency room, at the ER another doctor had an IE, and said, I have to be ready for the CS… she also asked me how many kids I have already and when I said this is the 3rd child, suggested that I had tubal ligation too, but I declined because we wanted another child even though I fear going on another surgery, I still don’t want to be final about not having another child.

So at the operating room, I was given sedative, anesthesia and everything that goes with surgery. I had told the doctor that I am deaf, but can lip read, and also the anesthesiologist, and everyone else that talked to me there. They were all kind enough to talk slowly so I can lip read them better, especially the anesthesiologist. The doctor who would do the CS on me, upon learning that I have hypothyroidism told me that I had to have tubal ligation to avoid having a mentally retarded child, and also having heart problem. When I told her that I haven’t discussed it yet with my husband, and I don’t want it yet, she was somewhat annoyed, and told me that if ever I get pregnant again, they will not accept me at this hospital. So I asked her why, she explained and at the end asked me where my husband is, I told her outside, she said… “I’ll go talk to your husband” and after a while she came back and said, she will do it, ligate me, shown me my husband’s signature for that procedure… although I said ok I was really sad.

Then the operation started, I don’t know why but I haven’t fallen asleep while I was being cut… I saw everything at the reflection on the overhead lights (or lamps?) first they made a small cut just above the pelvis, the blood was oozing and she kept on wiping it, slowly… then another cut, then I passed out. When I woke up again they were not yet finished, I saw that baby’s head were out and that she was turning it slowly and wiping the head.

And at that time I was having difficulty in breathing and my chest was painful… so I voiced out, what I was feeling and the anesthesiologist (I know it was him) repeated to me what I said… he took off the tube in my nose and changed it with something like a mask, and another woman on my left was taking my blood pressure every minute. My hands (which were tied to the something like board that extended from the bed) were shaking… really shaking hard, they were actually rattling on the board, I told my mind to tell my hands to stop from shaking but I cannot control it, they keep on shaking and shaking so hard that I was getting afraid, my teeth too started chattering. And I kept on telling them about my chest pain and my difficulty in breathing… they changed tubes and mask for 3 times.

When they had taken the baby off, the anesthesiologist tapped me and told me “the baby’s out already” although I wasn’t looking at him I heard him say it. This I can say, that even though a person is physically deaf, his/her soul can hear.

The pain in my chest was gone and I can breath ok at this time, but after a while it started again, I wasn’t looking at the reflection of what they were doing anymore, but I figured the doctor was doing the ligation at this time, hands shaking, painful chest, difficulty in breathing, I passed out.

After hours of sleeping when I woke up and was alright to go to my room, they took me out of the recovery room and there I saw him, my little angel, my last one… in his father’s arms… so fair skinned, chubby, chinky eyed and sooo cute.

I cried… not because I saw my child, but because I remembered he’s my last.

new toy!

2006-06-15T10:51:00.000+08:00

red hair

2006-05-09T17:13:00.000+08:00

whoa... its been a long time since i last posted here, more than a month ago... time flies sooooooooo faaaaasssst.

ok, so what's new with me... wel... i am now officially a red hair gal! hah! and i look silly in it =(. it happened this way...

i was at this store when i found this box labeled, wild fruit hair dye... then the color written on the box was "plum brown" it even had a sample hair with color on the side of it and it cost only less than a dollar, so i bought 2 since i have a thick long hair. its actually my first hair dye, i mean the very first that i will dye my entire hair all by myself, i had it dyed before but with my sis-in-laws help and with the hair color the closest to my hair, that way when something goes wrong it would be unnoticeable. so this time was different, i bought a lighter color for my hair, its what it looked like on the sample hair stuck on the box.

so i dyed... dyed... dyed... and dyed... then i combed... combed... combed... and combed.

after more than 30 minutes, thats what it says there on the box's instruction, leave it for 30 minutes and somebody said make it a little bit longer... i shampooed my hair, the let it dried... i i was facing the mirror when drying it and i saw to my horror that the top of my head was RED really RED a very RED hair... so of course i was shock and i felt like crying... actually i cried.

i was thinking... oh my... oh my... what have i done? what would i tell my hubby when he sees me... the color says plum brown but my entire hair is "PLUM RED"!

when i went home, hubby looked at me differently then a little later, he called me "carrot head"... =(

hello

2006-03-17T10:47:00.000+08:00

it's been quite awhile since i last updated this blog... oh well, i know nobody misses me here. been busy at the other blog - y360, which is way cooler than here =)...

but im still keeping this site, here i can be a little bit childish,while on the other blog, most of the time im onto more mature stuff.

im babbling already...maybe i can post some better stuff than what i did today... ok till next time, just posted so you'll know im still alive... lol

The Poopie List

2006-01-30T17:55:00.000+08:00

i got this from another's blog... =D

Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie- The kind where you pooped it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear, so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie- This happens when you're done pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to poopie some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie- The kind were you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Lincoln Log Poopie- The kind of poopie that is so huge, you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Gassy Poopie- It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling.
Corn Poopie- Self explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie-Poopie- The kind where you want to poopie, but all you do is sit on the toilet & fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Poopie- That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving sideways.
Wet Cheeks Poopie- (The power dump) The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get spalshed with water.
Liquid Poopie- The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Dog Poopie- It smells so bad your nose burns.
Upper Class Poopie- The kind of poopie that doesen't smell.
The Suprise Poopie- You are not even at the toilet because you are sure your about to fart, but OOPS!- a poopie!
The Dangling Poopie- This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopieing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

The Yellow People

2006-01-23T10:51:00.000+08:00

My favorite color is yellow, and here's what it says about me:

Yellow: The color of happiness, wisdom, and imagination, Yellow is chosen by the mentally adventurous, searching for novelty and self-fulfillment. Yellow usually goes with a sunny and shrewd personality, with a good business head and a strong sense of humor. It is the color of intellectuality and all things to do with the mind. Yellow folks are usually clear and precise thinkers who have a good opinion of their own mental capacities and who have lofty ideals. They may at times tend to shun responsibility, preferring freedom of thought and action.

If you want to see yours just click --> http://www.care2.com/channels/solutions/self/815

im cool... i feel so cool... yeah...

2006-01-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

yeeeyyy... why do i felt that way? its because i drove a car just this evening... wooohooo it was oh so totally total!... Waaaa can't believe i actually drove a car... haha.. i am just so very happy with myself (*taps head*) tehehehe

it was like this... we went to this subdivision, luis went with these friends of ours to look around the clubhouse which was so very grand. btw, went to that subdivision to look for the house model of the house and lot that was for sale... so on and so on... so they went inside the clubhouse, while i was left outside i found out that luis left the car key... so i was staring at the car and this thought just came to my mind... (actually, i was talking to myself saying).. hmmm i can drive this thing, i've gotta try... so i sneak inside the car while everyone was inside the clubhouse, twist the key... then brrr... brrrr... i didnt felt nervous, i was just so calm and relaxed... told myself okay, step on the clutch, shift the gear, let go of the handbrake slowly, step on the gas let go of the clutch slowly... and drive... brrrooommm... wow, I DID IT! i so totally did it. turned to the left, down.. down... down... drive... drive... drive... then reversed... back.. back.. back... turned to the right.... up... up... up... drive... drive... drive... and im back to where it was parked before... aaahhhaaahh im so proud of myself (*smiles*)

my feet muscles weren't tensed as they used to when luis is beside me (maybe he's the reason why i get nervous driving before), they were just relaxed.

i gotta drive more... *sighs* i can drive... i can actually drive!

but after that driving, just in time as i was back to its parking place, luis came out of the clubhouse... hehehe just imagine his look...

read... read.. and more reading...

2006-01-10T08:08:00.000+08:00

so i finished reading all the mails sent to me at y360, almost 300 mails, whew, but nothing to worry about my eyes, they're still perfectly a-ok. So today, im gonna read past blogs from friends to catch up with everything...

and just this morning while reading a friend's blog i found this compilation wich i cant resist to put here in mine so read on, this'll make you stop for a while and think about yourself...

If sumone throws a stone towards u, throw luv towards him but if sumone throw luv towards u, then sit for a while & think coz luv hurts more than stone.
Give laugh to all but smile to one; Give cheeks to all but lips to one; Give luv to all but heart to one; Let everybody luv u but u luv one.
It is better to be a nobody who accomplishes something than a somebody who accomplishes nothing.
Enjoy yourself. These are the "good old days" you're going to miss in the years ahead.
Never run from your fears. Because when they catch up to you, you're too tired to fight.
It's better to lose your ego to one u love the most, than to lose the one you love the most because of your ego.
Many actresses won't wear a dress that's not original, but they'll take a secondhand husband.
Not the lack of love, but the lack of friendship makes marriages unhappy.
All my life I wanted to be someone. I guess I should have been more specific.
The best vitamin to be a happy person is B1

so there...

blog... blog... blog... and more blog...

2006-01-09T08:42:00.000+08:00

so now im back on the net, got time again to surf and blog, and read friends' blogs... so much reading to be done.. =). ill make a one line summary to everything that happened here.

My father is missing!
Got a very wonderful New Year present! - will post pic of this on summer teeheehee :o)
Downgraded hp from T310 to Nokia 1100
Upgraded hp, got an Ericsson Z200 colored flipfone now. - Oh goody goody me... =)
Did the physical inventory of krootz.
Bought two Pentium 3s.
Got another 1,000 pcs. puzzle. whoohoo
New perfume in a very cute bottle with a very nice color.
Got marbles, big ones and small ones... yeeheeeyyy
Found out i had a talent in baking.
Is planning to dye hair!

Christmas was not that merry here, it was such a bore, we went to k'quit to eat, after an hour, went home to sleep... urgghh... But, the food i prepared was great, had a picture of it and my questions and answers from the people who ate (it was a sort of survey thing for me.. hehe), so i had declared meself a chef! The reunion was way too much better, was more fun compared to last year... New year was ok!

So there...

Merry Christmas to All

2005-12-22T17:25:00.000+08:00

whoa... 2 weeks without internet! i survived! whew...

3 days more.. its christmas, but then there's nothing to be expected from it here... i already know its gonna be a "not that merry christmas here." It was always like that so i know nothing will change, all we're gonna do is eat, then watch some lame fireworks, then sleep... pppphhhttt...

anyway, having fun is not what Christmas is all about, its about Jesus' birth, its about knowing that He came to save me from hell and destruction. It's not about me, presents, new things... etc. but its more about "thinking of others". Of how i can touch other people's lives because Jesus is in me.

it's a hard job, a really hard job, to be here and there setting a good example to those who knew not about the Lord. It's a lifetime work of changing how you deal with yourself and with other people. With prayers and God's help i -- WE can do it. let's not just forget to give God the glory and honor all the time.

anlayo.... anlalim... =o)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

what a bad way to end the day

2005-12-15T09:20:00.000+08:00

"Write the bad things that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble."

i started with the quote up there... and i made it bold and the fonts larger, its to remind me of what happened last night to just forget it and "LET IT GO."

there are really some people that will come into your life who are not just the ones you want to get in contact with...

to share about what happened las night, my daughter was made to look like a liar, and i was made to look like some piece of a selfish shit... makes me want to shout again...

ooppss... ooopppss... havent i already told myself to forget it and let it go... oh yeah, forget it *thumps head*. there, now i got amnesia... lol... i dont know what happened last night.. hehehe

this is the only way to forget things to make fun and laugh about it, why if i will keep on sulking and thinking about it, id just end up getting wrinkles on my face, would continue to have a bad day, will make me sin, and so on and so forth negatives in myself...

aaahhh... some people... God uses them to shape us to make us smooth, you know like how a sand paper make the wood smooth if you keep on rubbing it, these people are like sand paper in your life, they are a test of your character, if you let them, get the best of you then youll be the loser, the only way i can think of counter attacking them is to fight back (once) and let them know that i dont care what they say, dont bother me coz i am not bothering you, and i dont talk to them, that way, walang gulo... and anyways other people knows who's lying and who's not.

so there... write the bad things in sand and just "let it go"

uuuyyy... hhmmm... im learning from my posts, good for me.

p.s.
heh-heh-heh, there's a p.s. here as if this is a letter... *giggles*
chatterbox is not working today, i think, been to other people's blog and i cant add a tag. will try later though.

When I'm an old lady

2005-12-13T12:20:00.000+08:00

i love this.. so funny, im thinking of doing this to yla and zdi when they have a house of their own... they just wait and see what trouble they gave me now that they are still kids... hihihihihi... *giggles* lol

When I'm an old lady

I'll live with each kid.
And bring so much happiness...just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed!
Oh, they'll be so excited!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan,
"She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"

God Bless All Moms and Grandmas Everywhere!

By GAWD (Grandmothers Anonymous Working Declaration)

The Women of My Circle

2005-12-12T12:10:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine have sent me this, and am sure was touched by it, her message is so true... i would like to share this to everyone in here, best friends or not i consider you all my good friends for life! So read on, and i hope you will like it too.

When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend, and then I started to become a woman.And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man. Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom. Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt. joke or just be. One friend will say let's pray together, another let's cry together, another lets fight together, another let's walk together. One friend will meet your spiritual need, another your shoe fetish, another you love of movies, another will be with you in your season of confusion, another will be your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings.

But whatever their assignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or whenever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back, or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself... those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many it's wrapped up in several...One from the 7th grade, one from high school, several from the college years, a couple from old jobs, several from church. On some days your mother, on some days your neighbour, on others your sisters, and on some days your daughters.

So whether they've been there 20 minutes or 20 years, ... --- the message was up to here only, i dont know why and what went wrong, so ill add some of my words so that this will not feel like its lacking something in this part.

So whether they've been there 20 minutes or 20 years, ... consider them your best friend and be thankful to God for them, for they have done and said something to touch your life in their own way.

You can pass this on to the women that God has placed in your life to make a difference.

LET IT GO

2005-12-07T13:48:00.000+08:00

Received this poem in email, cant help myself from posting it here, just want to share it to all... so read on...

LET IT GO
By: Paul Henderson

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to..... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains.......... LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth....LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you........... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge....LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents........ LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude........ LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him.......... LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.... LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.......... LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed............ LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is aying "take your hands off of it", then you need to............. LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.

GOD is doing a new thing! LET IT GO in 2005!!!

Get Right or Get Left...think about it, then LET IT GO!!! LET Gods Love, Peace and Blessings be with you always...

a song for me...

2005-12-01T12:08:00.000+08:00

here's a song for me that i made on my b-day:

"tiring b-day to me...

tiring b-day to me...

tiring b-day, tiring b-day,

tiring b-day to me!"

my birthday has passed, a year older... and here's why i had that song ---> woke up in the morning to do the laundry and while doing the laundry, i cleaned the house, while cleaning and house and doing the laundry, i cooked the food that i had planned for this birthday of mine... and here they are:

baked chicken, with buttered mixed vegetabels and mushroom on the side
tofu
beef patty in creamy celery sauce
baked mussels in their shells
grilled (big) fish
"fresh lumpia"
"rellenong bangus"

All the foods that i served was a success and tofu was a big hit. i personally loved the mixed vegetabels with mushrooms. luis bought a chocolate cake, which was so good... love the taste of it. and i did get to blow the candle which zdi brought out and he sang the b-day song to me, the candle was sssooooo big as in really really big, the one we use when we dont have electricity here... did have fun with zdi singing though... lol

now for the gifts... i received three which were:

bike (but not the mountain bike in my wish list) from my daddy.
cash gift for a "secret" make-up. hehehe
blue jacket from the 3 ladies of kquit (they shared for it) cool...

for the extras these were not gifts but i was lucky to have them:

i didnt get the html book but i found an html tutorial for free, available 24/7, a friend shared this in her blog, so lucky me, now i can learn more of html
i didnt get an "adventures of tintin comic book" but i found a dvd collection of it, so i watched those comics that are not in my collection

i didnt get any book so ill just have to be content on reading the manual of the bike and the tag of the jacket, plus the description and ingredients on the box of the make-up ... tehehehe...

so there... i was tired, yes, but im still happy.

A word and wish for myself:

Im thankful to the Lord for this new life he had given me and im hoping for more b-days to come, happy ones too. May i grow more in the knowledge of God, stronger in faith, may i touch other people's lives the way He wants me to touch them, may i live a life pleasing to Him and worthy fo His calling.

When we get old...

2005-11-22T15:31:00.000+08:00

me and my hubby went to the baywalk at rizal park in manila last sunday... as we were enjoying the view, sitting on the break water or water breaker (dont know which is which =).. ) my hubby suddenly spoke out and told me... "pag matanda nako, dalhin mo ko ulit dito sa lugar na to ha?" (when i'm old bring me to this place again), and i replied - "of course" (i almost cried when i heard him said that, im such an emotional phhtt...).

after that an image was playing in my mind, we were coming back to the exact place where he asked me to bring him again, and he was already old, and sitting in his wheelchair, while me, i was the one pushing the wheelchair... (makes me want to cry again...)

after that imagination.. =), i look at him and then i sang this song...

KAHIT MAPUTI NA ANG BUHOK KO
Sharon Cuneta

Kung tayo'y matanda na
Sana'y di tayo magbago
Kailan man nasaan ma'y
Ito ang pangarap ko
Makuha mo pa kayang
Ako'y hagkan at yakapin ooooooh
Hanggang pagtanda natin
Nagtatanong lang sa `yo
Ako pa kaya'y ibigin mo
Kung maputi na ang buhok ko

Pagdating ng araw
Ang `yong buhok
Ay puputi na rin
Sabay tayong mangangarap
Nang nakaraan sa `tin

Ang nakalipas ay ibabalik natin ooooooh
Ipapaalala ko sa `yo
Ang aking pangako
Na ang pag-ibig ko'y laging sa `yo
Kahit maputi na ang buhok ko

Ang nakalipas ay ibabalik natin hmmmmmm
Ipapaalala ko sa `yo
Ang aking pangako
Na ang pag-ibig ko'y laging sa `yo
Kahit maputi na ang buhok ko
Kahit maputi na ang buhok ko

i'm really in tears now.. sniff.. sniff.. =(

additional wish...

2005-11-20T00:08:00.000+08:00

ooppss.. i forgot this the last time i blogged.

archie comic book
adventures of tintin comic book (for my collection, it's not yet complete!)
mountain bike

at least i blogged today. lol =O).

a year older...

2005-11-16T10:30:00.000+08:00

im gonna be another year older, 14 more days, i am getting older and i cannot stop it, ten more years im gonna have wrinkles on my face, another 5 more years, my arms will look different from what i have right now, buhu.. we cant stop aging, so now i guess i have to stop myself from thinking about how i'd look in the future. lol

i got plenty of greetings earlier than my real b-day, weird, they greeted me happy b-day and sent cards last nov. 11, and i wonder why? guess somethings wrong with one of my profiles, (whew and there were many of them i wonder which one). Anyway thank you all for the greetings, thank you all for remembering, thank you all for caring.

for my wish list... well, to have these will be super great, and not to have these will be sooo okay to me, im not gonna die if i will not have these right? okay so here they are...

german shepherd
new books to read (suspense, hp series, romance - especially "a walk to remember)
another puzzle collection
different colored marbles for my collection
another winnie the pooh =) - i love him... hehehe
a camera with zoom (not the digital type), so that when i see another road accident i can get more good shots
a slate, since this is cheaper than pda..lol.., so that when me and luis are talking and i cant understand what he's saying he will just have to right it down and not get angry with me
rubber shoes, somebody "arbor" my blue rubber shoes, now i dont have any
cookbook
more books to read
stamps for my collection
html book
and most of all i want to have my hearing back

wow, this is plenty... im greedy... lol..., this is just a wish, and wishing is free so i see nothing wrong with wishing so many (they rhyme). as i say, to have them is great and not to get them is so okay. so there

i wonder which ones will i get.. hhmmm.... =)

2005-11-09T13:32:00.000+08:00

and finally...

i've seen the movie "A Walk To Remember"! I bought the orig. DVD of it.

and now i know that it's hard to cry with your glasses on, my nose turned red.

and now i want to read the book, anybody here want to lend it to me?

2005-10-27T11:16:00.000+08:00

because im ASTIG...

the new me.

i have to wear glasses to correct the astigmatism i have right now.. 6 months to 1 year of wearing them...

buhuuu.. i dont feel like im a genius or cool or something, i feel old and look old =(

but still cute.. hehehe =)

2005-10-24T10:09:00.000+08:00

Summary

so lazy to blog... i'll just make a summary of what happened this past week.

wednesday - zdi fell down face first, his nose flat on the tiled floor, his nose bleed for quite a while, his aunt Kaykay was in tears looking at him because of the many blood that came out of his nose and mouth. Diane thank you for your prayer when i told you that day in chat that im having palpitations and i felt like something's gonna happen (to my family), and you prayed for each one of us. Nothing serious happened to zdi except for the bleeding - thank God - he just had that mark on his nose and the wound on his lips.

thursday to friday - nothing much happened, except did my tons of laundry... wow.. so tiring, zdi didnt go to school.

saturday - went to krootz shop, fix.. fix.. fix.. there

sunday - i found out that i am ASTIG!

so there... whew!

2005-10-19T08:56:00.000+08:00

TO "LET GO" TAKES LOVE
by Dr. Margaret J. Rinck

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring,
it means that I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off,
it is the realization that I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another,
it is to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for,
but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to effect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective.
it is to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny,
but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead,to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To "let go" is not td adjust everything to my desires,
but totake each day as it comes, and to cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To "let go" is not to regret the past,
but to grow and to live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and to love more.

2005-10-17T10:41:00.000+08:00

MY FOREIGN NAMES

found this nice blog things, you can find your foreign names too just click the color blue ones...

My Hawaiian name

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Keilana Ululani

What's your Hawaiian Name?

My Japanese name

Your Japanese Name Is...

Kita Konoe

What's your Japanese Name?

My French name

Your French Name is:

Louise Clerc

What's Your French Name?

My Irish name

Your Irish Name Is...

Gemma McNamara

What's your Irish Name?

My Brazilian name

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Danyela Peixe

What's Your Sexy Brazilian Name?

2005-10-13T08:44:00.000+08:00

10 Years...

10 years.
10 whole years of emotional turmoil.
10 years of happiness, fruitfulness.
10 years of frustrations, trials, sufferings.
10 years of learning, adjusting.

In all those 10 years character was built, lessons have learned, self was made stronger, relationship made better.
And these past few days there is that one thing I have realized in myself, I realized that there are precious things that I dont want to lose in my life, and these precious things are my husband and my children. We may fight over some things, have disagreement over a lot of things, misunderstanding over other things but in all that, I am happy where I am right now. This is where I always want to be.

May the good Lord who is always there for us, continuously bless us and strengthen each member of the family from the head to the bunso (last child). May our love to each other continuously grow.

Thank you Lord for those ten years that you have given us, for always there most especially in those times when we are down, for letting us know that you have "carried" us. Teach me more how to be patient, how to be open, how to understand other people, how to be sensitive, how to strong.

=============

To my one and only

I love you and I always will,
I know we've been through to so many things already,
we have been to so many fights,
but you are forever in my heart.

Thank you for those times that you have given me and will give me.
Thank you for those tears that you have shed for me and for those coming tears again in the future.
Thank you for the disagreements for it made me understand myself more.
Thank you.

You may never be the right person that I have dreamed of before, and I am not yours either.
But in my heart I know that you are the perfect one that God had set aside for me.
You may never have that qualities that I've always wanted, and I dont have some of what you want either.
But I know that God gave us both to each other to make ourselves better,
to create that character that God wants us to have.

I'm sorry for the times I've failed you...
I'm sorry for the things that I cannot give you...
I'm sorry for my shortcomings..
I have forgiven you for everything.

I have come to realize that you are the precious thing
that i don't want to lose in my life.
Happy anniversary daddy! I love you!

Always,
Anerey

=============

this is scary...

2005-10-12T18:07:00.000+08:00

i tried this test... and the result is this..
er am not an only child (although i grew up like one, was separated with my sisters for years) but some parts of the result where somewhat true about me...
now if you want to try this too, just click the "birth predictor" below, have fun!

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.

In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

2005-10-11T16:15:00.000+08:00

God SpiLL thE PaiNT

Nothing man can do could ever equal the glory ofGod's creations.

The east side of the Carrizo plain, in the Temblor Range, about 50 miles due west of Bakersfield, California. Photo taken by Barbara MathewsMay 14. 2005

Isn't this amazing?

2005-10-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

yipeee... had a hair relax, now my hair looks nice, the only good thing that ever happened this week...

2005-10-07T22:59:00.000+08:00

shocking...

got the shocking news, the exact one... so shocking... his face was shattered, his ear was totally ripped off, broken skull, hit and run... :-(. and the most shocking thing i heard was the driver's version, he insists that he did not hit a boy but just a dog (thank God some relatives were fast enough to follow and caught up with the van, that they were able to stopped it.) the woman who came out asked what's the matter why they were being stopped, when told they hit a boy all she said was they hit a dog...

why is it that some people are so brutal, they dont even care about other people's lives, they kill and just go on with their lives as if nothing happened, as if they had done nothing wrong.

Lord its all in your hands now, you know everything, knew everything that happened... you are the judge, if that person gets away with that horrible thing he did here on earth, there is still that final judgment when we all come face to face with you. it's all in your hands, the little one is with you right now, happier than he could ever be here alive.

2005-10-06T15:04:00.000+08:00

sad week...

what a sad week this is

first death of a family member...

second bad hair...

now another news of death...
daddy ballinan's death a former church elder. Lord please comfort the family he left behind, we know he is already old and he is now there with you, his loved ones left behind are in sorrow right now, comfort them and show them that daddy ballinan's in a perfect place right now, with no pain, no tears, no suffering... thank you Lord in Jesus name Amen!

2005-10-05T07:42:00.000+08:00

new hair cut

i decided against my common sense to have a haircut to have a different look, so i look around here for the gay which they say was a good cutter. what did he do? he didn't even used scissors on my hair that much, what he did was he put a blade on the comb and comb my hair with it to layer it... now i have acquired a different look, -- i look differently ugly (<-- is this term right)... harrghh, the cut was bad, it was layered but it's a bad layered cut... with so many fly aways here and there... buhuhu (my hair takes a long time to grow back), how long will i suffer for this =( ?

and to add to that, i dont have enough money to go for a "hair relax" so that at least my hair would be presentable... maybe it would be better if i just shave this.. yaiks not that courageous to go around for months as bald...

haaayyy ... maaaallllaaaassss....

2005-10-03T07:06:00.000+08:00

prayers for a family member

sad day yesterday... :-( we received news that a family member (luis' side) died the other day, got hit by a vehicle, and what's heartbreaking is, the one who died was a four year old boy. :-( as old as zdi. Please pray for ate Baby Vitug, she needs it more than ever now, pray for the comfort of the Holy Spirit in her that she will be able to stand this. Please pray also for the whole Mejia family.

2005-09-29T11:33:00.000+08:00

I'm stuck here... i thought we're gonna move somewhere else... whew... too bad...

But still God is good, always good, taught me humility, it was hard at first, but when i had taken the first step the rest was easy. Thank you Jesus!

I want a vacation, wish i can have one...

i found her... it may never be the same as before but we can start again... that's another thing to thank the Lord.

2005-09-27T02:09:00.000+08:00

cant think of anything to put here...

wish we could go on a vacation like 1 or 2 months away from this place.

haaayyy sooo boorring, i want to have a rest even for just a week of doing nothing... no housework, no everything, just rest, eat and lie down, my body i guess needs recharging...

i wonder if there a camp for adults? if there is, maybe i can try joining it.

it's already 2:30 am, and i'm still awake huhoommm... so long to finish fixing computers, im getting sleepy already, im talking nonsense...

2005-09-22T10:30:00.000+08:00

A Friend In You?

Just when I thought I found the one I've been searching for so long
Just when I thought I found the one I can tell everything what's on my mind
Just when I thought I have somebody who can depend on me
Just when I thought I have a friend whom I can rely on
Just when I thought like that then everything falls...

Why is it easy to make a mistake and so hard to undo it?
Why is it easy to say something hurtful and so hard to take it back?
Why is it easy to think that a person had done something bad to us when we haven't had the facts first?
Why is it when we thought that everything is already ok, and then something happens that shatters us from within?

I thought I found a friend in you
For a very long time I've been searching for that special person
And from those times that we have shared...
I thought I found a friend in you
But I think what I thought was wrong
So I guess I have to start all over again
And keep on looking for that special person whom I can call a real friend...

Or maybe... just maybe... I'm destined to be alone...

2005-09-15T12:41:00.000+08:00

nothing much to blog... been working working and working these past few days... whew...

luis' skin is getting better already, he looks like a sort of fish with all those scale like thing on his arms...

always raining here... haaaaayyyy... kakatamad to go places, want to sleep the whole day but can't do it.

merry christmas everyone, since the month ends in "ber" christmas decorations are already displayed here, christmas songs are played, some house have their "parols" already hanging by the windows... nice... have to save money for the christmas season, have to buy lotsa presents... aarrggghhh... buhuhu i'm not rich... i'm poor as a church mouse... christmas is spending season also... lol.. whew...

that's about it, nothing else.

2005-09-11T20:13:00.000+08:00

had a horrible... horrible... horrible... friday (end of the day friday)...

will be out for a week, no blogs, no internet, no computer... whoa... buhuhuhuhu...

my daddy look so miserable, his arms are full of rashes, started a week ago but now it really got serious, his neck have rashes too and even his lips. He gets irritated at little things, get angry right away and yell at us, so that is why he is ssoooo hhmmpphh "kakainis..." he's not feeling well, he says it's so very itchy. So have to change places with him, that's why no computer for me for a whole week... too bad... so "kawawa naman my daddy." then just today when i told him to go swimming and not take a dip in the tub, he did the bath tub thing, now his rashes were like swelling, and he really really looks so kawawa, his face is swelling also... stubborn, told him not to do it, now he knows why...

all those days that he is so unbecoming, we try to move away from him, so last night we made an agreement the four of us, me zdi, daddy and yla who was half listening to - "not to get angry right away (especially our daddy)" remembering stephen... poor zdi, he only wanted to color the mcdo coloring book and he received "palo" from his daddy, because he and his ate were bickering at each other... wawa naman... and since he's always the makulit one he was the one who got the palo.

now for the funny news, i hope this sounds funny to those who will read this, we had this one night at k'quit and we were talking about our new "old" hp, so epang had this k700 with video, my daddy T610, tyanpol had this flipphone, and mine was a lousy (but just ok to me) T312, the first 3 hp have blue tooth, so they were testing it and so on... then i was watching them, especially tyanpol's coz he was trying to search the other two blue teeth (hehehe - plural of tooth right?) cellphone, then all of a sudden something came up he found a "blue tartar", we were all laughing wondering who's hp was that blue tartar, and of course we found out it was daddy... now tyanpol changed his' to blue tooth-dcay... funny? not ata? hehe

so that's all, maybe if I'm not too tired in evening after coming home from work, I can sneak in here...

2005-09-09T09:11:00.000+08:00

wow, i got 80 hits here, hello everyone... if some of you are wondering why I'm logging in to ym, it's because i am too busy creating a blogskin, well it's fun and demands a lot of time, html is a new thing to me, I'm starting from scratch but I liked it... a lot... if you have anything to say just leave a message here, thank you.

ok... so that's for me, and here's a silly statement from Yla...
If you are watching SUGO (gma 7 - kapuso) teleserye, there's this "alay" (sacrifice) wherein her blood when it spills flares up. So Yla told me - "how come when Isabel have her monthly period she doesn't get burned, her clothes should be on fire down there..." -- hehehehehe silly girl... but she got a point though... oo nga naman.. blood din yun... hahaha

2005-09-07T08:47:00.000+08:00

nothing exciting to blog... luga btw went to derm clinic to have his skin checked by a certified dermatologist, now he came home and told me he got sensitive skin.. hhmmpphhh... ppprrrpppp... nuts, he always wanted to be on the sensitive skin type, haha, as if its easy to take care of sensitive skin, now he tells me to buy him a dove soap with moisturizer its what he's supposed to use from now on, hahaha, nuts... now I'm thinking if next time he's gonna ask me to buy him lotion, gee that is so totally nuts... hahaha...

this is kinda late story... i forgot to put this in my last blog... it was like this, luga was holding zdi while we were taking the escalator and both of them were not looking where they were going, and so luga was on the escalator and zdi was outside, they created a commotion, so totally funny and annoying and scary... zdi was like, he was on the other side of the handrail where there are no stairs... so he was hanging while they were going up (his feet was about two or three steps above the ground)... could have thump the adult one holding him. so what luga did was he tried to pull zdi up, but there was something blocking, so he just went down (opposite the movement of the escalator and still holding zdi tightly) good thing luga was quick enough to do that... so we waited upstairs for them, boy if you can only see zdi's face, turned white (his lips was really bloodless)... haha (huhu) and his heart was beating so fassstt... he was behaving then after that like a really good boy... and his daddy was all smiles (really... i so wanted to kick him in the butt and erase that smile from his face) if it happened to me he would so totally nag at me, and I'd be humiliated... he's lucky I'm not like him, just asked him what happened and why they weren't looking where they were going. the ending was I took charge of zdi, can't trust anybody holding him... ok so that was it....

2005-09-05T10:22:00.000+08:00

we watched The Valiants... its about birds in the armies, about a tiny tot of a bird (pigeon) who wanted to join the military, sending messages during world war II and they have an enemy falcon who is some kind of a general with two assistants who tries to get the messages the birds are carrying... anyway not that funny cartoon movie to me, a little cute, that's what i can say to it. But i did learn something that during those times in real life, animals did get war medals called "dickin medals" cool....

i'm sick and tired, physically and emotionally... for how long can i endure? i dont know, but if i reach my limit.... only God knows what will happen next.

2005-09-03T17:36:00.000+08:00

what's the latest? well yla arrived yesterday and told me she's gonna compete for the Math regional quiz bee again... cool... same as last year (she got the sixth place), hope she does better this time. Anyway whatever happens I'm still proud of her, she does everything all by herself with so little help from me. Good luck my baby... whatever the outcome is I am always proud of you and I always love you.

---- there's a limit to what a person can take... if I can't take it anymore I'll just disappear and I am not going to leave any trace to wherever I am going... ---

2005-08-30T10:18:00.000+08:00

Life as a mother and wife

For the past four days as I was working triple time doing housework, "daddy's" work (since he was sick I have to do his job), care giving, and everything else, this made me think of what life is as a mother and wife. When I was still single all I always think of is to have a family of my own, children of my own, home of my own, and everything else about getting settled.

Nothing can prepare someone for family life, experiences of others will help but only a little, it's just a glimpse of what it really is when you have your own. If you are the eldest, taking care of your younger brothers and sisters is little compared to taking care of your own kids.

Mothers are the first one to wake up in the morning to prepare the things of their children and husband, the last person to go to sleep because she have to make sure that everything is already prepared for tomorrow. She takes care of the kids and the husband who acts like a kid sometimes… whew, that's the hardest part, taking care of an adult who wanted to be treated like a baby... sweet but sometimes annoying,. When one of her kids gets hurt, mothers feel the pain twice as hard as how they child feels it. If somebody is sick, although she takes care of the child and seems to be alright but deep inside her everything is not alright, the worries and everything, she just hopes that she was the one who got sick instead of her little ones. You know even though her children are all grown up, in a mother's heart they are still her "little ones."

Mothers sometimes are seldom appreciated for what they do in their family, clean the house, do the laundry, iron the clothes, cook the food, wash the dishes, and all the other housework that needs to be done. She does everything, and what does she get in return? You can answer that... a simple thank you mom/honey, is such a wonderful feeling for a mother/wife, it is like her strength is being recharged. And what does a hug from her loved ones do? It doubles the recharging, makes her want to do more for her family.

If you are a child (and everybody is), hug your mom or say something nice to her. If you are a husband, give a little time to appreciate what your wife is doing, you never know but a wife feels she's just a half person without her husband. If you are a mother give time to yourself, because if you overworked and you get sick, just think of what will happen, so many people depends on you. And if you are single, enjoy it first, do what you want in life because when you have a family of your own, everything will be different, its not what you think it is.

2005-08-24T14:16:00.000+08:00

whats new...? well last night I cooked "drunken squid" but then i ran out of gas so it became a "baked drunken squid" lol... drunken squid as in nilasing na pusit. tehehehe... it was an experiment but it tasted really good though, so I have another secret recipe. So tiring, im stressed out already, did the laundry, wash dishes, clean the house, ironed clothes, hah everything is mine... thank the Lord, I still have strength left to do whatever I have to do for myself.

Anyway had a good night sleep and now I'm fully recharged to do everything again.

2005-08-23T11:27:00.000+08:00

So what do i have to say today...?

I have a terrible terrible terrible headache... aarrrrgggghhhhh...

My fault... huhuhu... for being stubborn, being a jackass...

2005-08-22T10:14:00.000+08:00

whats new with me?... hhmmm... i got a new but not really new cp, lols... (bagong luma - hehehe)... haaayyy almost had my christmas dream last night, but it was so late that i cancelled it, I'm hoping next week it'll come true na. So irritating a little, can you believe it, they have their own papers, while I dont even have my bc yet, yaiks... what am i talking here?... lol... talking in secret? I can't openly talk about it yet.

So what else... hmmm... lots of work to do today. I have a feeling that im gonna hear soon, because He is faithful that promised... excited? Yes, so very... whatever happens its all for His glory.

2005-08-19T08:49:00.000+08:00

i just want to thank the Lord today... most of my problems are solved, thank you Jesus! but there are still more hanging on, waiting in line, waiting for them to be solved. Anyway, i know that the Lord is always there, He will answer my prayers in His time, everything will gonna be ok according to His perfect time... He is faithful that promised! and just want to let the whole world (eventhough nobody reads this blog ata) to know that "I love you Lord no matter what!" sometimes i grieved your holy spirit, im just human trying to be perfect in your sight, its hard, but im trying. all the glory are yours Lord.

is that me up there ^^^, seldom talk like that, dont usually open up. Anyway, i hope my day will be ok. im almost there to having one of my dreams (all i want for Christmas)...

what else? what to put... what to put... just figured out there's nothing else...

2005-08-18T07:30:00.000+08:00

...how is it that my body works so differently? have to drink coffee so i can sleep and been doing it two consecutive nights already... am i abnormal or just totally weird.... lucky enough my senses works properly, just think if i have to use my eyes to smell, my nose to eat - gross think of stuffing food into your nose, my mouth to hear have to open it all the time to let sounds in (although this i did a long time ago, and it works), etc... ok enough im being like an alien now. i wonder whats my lunch gonna be this time... not much to tell now since its still 7 in the morning (still sleepy hohum... slept at 2 am, woke up at 6), will come back later...

2005-08-17T16:11:00.000+08:00

yehey, i did it... so tiring, editing and searching for the right me... glad that i found it.

plus another bonus for me, been searching for this lyrics for a long time already - my current favorite... by freddie aguilar -

Bulag Pipi at Bingi

Madilim ang 'yong paligid, hatinggabing walang hanggan
Anyo at kulay ng mundo sayo ay pinagkaitan
H'wag mabahala kaibigan, isinilang ka mang ganyan
Isang bulag sa kamunduhan, ligtas ka sa kasalanan

Chorus:
Hindi nalalayo sayo ang tunay na mundo
Marami sa aming nabubuhay ng tulad mo ...
'Di makita, 'di marinig, minsa'y nauutal
Patungo sa hinahangad, na buhay na banal

Pilitin mo mang umawit, hindi mo makuhang gawin
Sigaw ng puso't damdamin, wala sayong pumapansin
Sampung daliri kaibigan, d'yan ka nila pakikinggan
Pipi ka man ng isinilang, dakila ka sa sinuman.

Repeat Chorus

Ano sa'yo ang musika, sayo ba'y mahalaga
Matahimik mong paligid, awitan ay 'di madinig
Mapalad ka o kaibigan, napakaingay ng mundo
Sa isang binging katulad mo, walang daing, walang gulo

Repeat Chorus

Coda
...'Di makita, 'di marinig, minsa'y nauutal

Patungo sa hinahangad, na buhay na banal